Hetalia Newscast!
by DaughterofApollo413
Summary: The cast is going to be doing Hetalia versions of the news, and I am probably going to post every time I get an idea, so please give me some! Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

**Hetalia Newscast!**

**AN: Hi Hi! I'm back with probably more nonsense because, for some reason, when listening to happy music, I just can't help but write random stuff with humor!**

**England: Just get to the point!**

**Me: (Pulls off an America (the episode where he trips on a banana peel and flies towards England)) IIIIIGGGGYYYYY~! ACK- (faceplant, like that wasn't obvious) ouchie...**

**England: Stupid git... CiCi doesn't own Hetalia! If she did the world would be reduced to facepalm worthy idiots!**

A blonde tapped the microphone in fornt of him. "Um, is this thing on? Helllooo?...1 2 3? GUYS! THE MIC ISN'T WORKING!" He shouted to no one in particular.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT, GIT!" The cameraman shouted back, seemingly pissed. The reporter looked at him with a smile. "Why, of course I have to, Artie! Your so old, you could be deaf and you wouldn't know it~" Blondie replied, smile still one his face. 'Artie' just quirked a massive eyebrow. "What do you mean, old? Your just about as old as me, Alfred! And that's Arthur to you!" Arthur snapped, almost throwing the camera at the idiot in front of him.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Another blonde shouted at the two. "This is supposed to be a respectable newscast so behave!" He continued. "Ludwig..." The arguing duo separated, the Brit looking thoroughly ashamed. "I'm so sorry Ludwig..." he apologized, head bent down.

"DOITSUUUUUUUU! HELP MEEEEEE!" A brunette, finally, appeared; launching himself at Ludwig, clinging tightly and sobbing into the man's shirt. "Ack- Feliciano, please let go..." Ludwig tried to shake out of Feliciano's hold, but he wasn't allowed. It was so bad, you could practically hear the words 'ACESS DENIED' in the background. "B-B-But, Ludwig, Francis is trying to huuuuuurrrrrrrrttttttttt meeeeeeeeeeeee!" He yelled in the poor man's ear, almost making no sence at all. "Wait, that French bastard did _what_?" He looked like he was going into a violent stage, and at moment, Alfred figured out how to make the microphone work. "Heeeeeeeyyyyyyy! I fixed the camera! GUYS! THE CAMERA'S WORKING NOW! WE CAN START!... Um, are you guys even listening?" He tried to proclaim, but failed. "Oh well, the show must go on..."

**AN: Hey, how was that? I think it was so short, it made Sealand look tall, but this is just the intro... I also have friends who are going to gather news from around the world, but you guys can post sugestions, too...**

**Please R&R! It makes chapters come faster!**


	2. Ghosts Real or Not?

**Hetalia Newscast: Ghosts; Real or Not?**

**AN: Welcome back! And thanks to someone who was kind enough to give me a site to check for info, this chapter has appeared! It's like magic!**

**England: Shut up, git! CiCi doesn't own Hetalia or the news article.**

**XOXOXOXO+LINE+BREAK+XOXOXOXO**

"OMG, IT'S A FLYING SQUIRREL!" Alfred yelled at the people in front of him. They turned to him with a questioning look. "What? You wouldn't listen!" He whined, flailing his arms like a three year old. Arthur walked over and smacked him upside the head.

"Alright, just start with the show! Stupid git..." He shouted and went back to the camera. Ludwig sat next Alfred, while Feli went to the green screen for the weather.

Alfred shuffled his papers into order as he opened his mouth to speak. "Good morning, people of the world! Welcome to Hetalia News. I am your host, Alfred F. Jones. The random guy sitting next to me is my supposed co host that does just about nothing, Ludwig Beilschmidt! Our topic of discussion for today is 'How to Tell If Your House Is Haunted'! Ludwig, how do you feel about our topic today?"

Ludwig grumbled, still upset at Francis. "It's alright..."

"Alright, before I get into the most boringest topic in the universe, Feli, why not you tell us the weather!" Alfred happily cheered as the camera switched to the Italian.

"Ve~ Okay! Well, for today, we seem to be rather sunny over most of Europe and America, but farther south we have some major rainstorms! Poor Africa! Also the flooding in Thailand is slowly going down, but multiple people are still being hurt. That just makes me want to cry... WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Feliciano said before running away in tears.

Alfred blinked. "O...kay... Well, since Feli is crying in a random corner, I'll begin the report~" He took a large breath before starting.

"As Halloween approaches, people might find themselves feeling a little spooked."

"Two individuals identified as "foremost experts of the supernatural realm" have produced a list of phenomena that "might indicate your house is haunted." However, others contend that everything on this list can be perfectly well explained by everyday phenomena. This story describes some items from the list, and offers some decidedly non-supernatural explanations from Eduard Dabock, SETI Institute senior astronomer and "Big Picture Science" radio host, and from paranormal & pseudoscientific investigator Roderich Edelstien, founder of the Roderich Edelstien Educational Foundation."

**SENSATION: You see something unexplained out of the corner of your eye.**

NEUROLOGICAL EXPLANATION: "We're hard-wired by 200,000 years of evolution to be sensitive to the idea that someone might be watching us. They might be predators, after all. An uneasy feeling is perfectly natural if you suspect that someone has you in their ocular sights, whether it's a ghost or just some guy at the bus stop." - Eduard Dabock

ANOTHER TAKE: "If this doesn't happen to you, you're not very alert or perceptive." - Roderich Edelstien

**SENSATION: You feel a sudden change in temperature in the room. **

THERMODYNAMIC EXPLANATIONS: "No heating system can deliver perfectly uniform temperatures throughout a house, and drafts can magnify the perceived difference in temperatures. Try walking around with a thermometer." - Eduard Dabock

ANOTHER TAKE: "Every house has these. If your house doesn't have such areas, you have a very weird house." - Roderich Edelstien

**SENSATION: You have dramatic or vivid dreams.**

PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPLANATION: "When 'paranormal researchers' ask you to recall such events, you're 'tuned' to looking upon them as supernatural." - Roderich Edelstien

ANOTHER TAKE: "It could also mean that you're finally having some new thoughts! The boss might appreciate that." - Eduard Dabock

**SENSATION: You hear unexplained noises or inaudible whispers.**

ACOUSTICAL EXPLANATION: "It's also known as 'bad acoustics.' How often do you fail to catch all the dialogue in a movie? Do you think this is because spirits have set up house behind the screen?" - Eduard Dabock

MEDICAL EXPLANATION: "I also call this tinnitus, which produces a whispering or ringing noise in the ears when surroundings are very quiet." - Roderich Edelstien

**SENSATION: Offensive or person-associated odors.**

FLUID DYNAMICS EXPLANATION: "Odors can be highly transitory, depending on the air currents. If this is happening in your house, ask if there are any possessions of that deceased loved one still around. If it happens elsewhere, consider just how many millions of people use the same perfume or smoke the same brand of cigar as someone you knew." - Eduard Dabock

**SENSATION: Physical contact with something invisible.**

ALTERNATIVE TAKE: "If this happens in broad daylight, you should probably see a neurologist. If it's at night, confront the person next to you." - Eduard Dabock

**SENSATION: Seeing a spirit. **

NEUROLOGICAL EXPLANATION: "Our brains are wired to interpret shapes as faces and bodies. That's why people see the Virgin Mary in the clouds or even in cheese sandwiches. It's your cytoplasm, not some strange ectoplasm." - Eduard Dabock

PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPLANATION: "No, you believe that you see something familiar, but it can be [a] hallucination, which ghost hunters really resent, because it's a common delusion." - Roderich Edelstien

**THE BOTTOM LINE**

"While about one-third of Americans believe in ghosts, you won't find many exhibits on these spooky beings down at the local science museum. Why? Well, one explanation that you might consider, ghosts are just figments of our highly fertile imaginations!" - Eduard Dabock

"In short, if one of these events happens to the believer, the conclusion is that a ghost has made an appearance, not that something quite ordinary but uncommon has occurred - if you're prepped to accept the 'woo-woo' solution, which ghost hunters always are. Our sensory systems are far from perfect, as magicians well know, and can be misled and can lead to delusion if encouraged." - Roderich Edelstien

"Well, that was extremely long, and comepletely unessesary beings that it's after Halloween! That's all for our news cast, see you all tomorrow!" With that, Arthur cut off the camera and Alfred hit his head against the desk, breathing heavily at the lack of air. 

"Don't tell me... You forgot to breathe again, didn't you?" Ludwig asked, shaking his head to rid himself of annoyance. All Alfred could accomplish was a small nod.

**AN: I would never forget this story! I just need people to send me articles or links to websites for ideas! Well, please R&R!**


	3. Weird Festivals Worldwide!

**Hetalia Newscast**

**AN: Holy-! *CRASH* Hi Hi~ Sorry about this mess of an AN, but I have found something interesting! Russia, why not you do the Disclaimer. Iggy needs a break~ ^_^**

**Russia: Da, comrade CiCi~ She doesn't own the News article or Hetalia.**

**Enjoy~**

**XOXOXOXO~Line Break~XOXOXOXO**

"Well, the last show was a hit!" a brunette happily exclaimed, hugging a young man who looked like Feliciano. "G-g-Get off of me, tomato bastard!"The boy yelled, causing the other to cringe. "Awww, Lovi... I thought you liked my hugs..." he mumbled before backing away, frown evident on is face. "Hey, guys! Quit flirting to each other and get to your positions!" Alfred shouted before running to where he was supposed to be.

Arthur ran to the camera, and another blonde came and did a final touch up their make-up. "AGH-! Francis, I don't need a touch up! Get off of me!" Arthur swatted the pompous young man away. "Ohonhonhon~ Of course you do! With those things you call eyebrows, everyone would avoid watching the show~" Francis leaped away from the furious man, laughing in his stupid french accent.

"Hello, welcome to today's showing of Hetalia Newscast! I'll be your host, Alfred! Our beloved co-host, is currently sick for unknown reasons and will not be able to appear." You could hear loud arguing and furniture breaking in the background. "I will now begin with our, for once, interesting article!" Another long breath was inhaled.

You can almost smell deep-fried funnel cakes in the air, and just about hear the screams from Ferris wheel riders or the melodious cacophony of numerous carnival games. You can practically see the tons of t-shirts and shorts milling about munching on cotton candy, sipping soda or standing in line at the spinning tea cup ride. Ahh, the all-American festival: yeah, they're fun, but they're also super predictable. Wouldn't it be amusing to partake in a truly one-of-a-kind celebration? Well, the festivals we feature are nothing if not unique: They involve pelting tomatoes, building beer can boats, vaulting over infants and more. Yeah, their customs are strange, but that's their allure. Keep reading for eight of the world's weirdest festivals.

Boryeong Mud Festival Boryeong, South Korea

The summertime Boryeong Mud Festival is one of the dirtiest celebrations around - pardon the pun. Located on the western coast of South Korea, the city of Boryeong boasts Daecheon Beach, which is known for its beautifying mud. Boryeong's goo has been proven to nourish and promote the elasticity and firmness of skin. And since 1998, the city has capitalized on its mud with this filthy festival. There are a number of ways to participate: You can wrestle, slide through, or even build a human pyramid in the gray-brown earth. At night, you can enjoy your mud mask under a spray of fireworks. Whichever way you decide to partake, you're bound to enjoy some good clean - ahem, soiled - fun in Boryeong.

Darwin Lions Beer Can Regatta Darwin, Australia

Who knew that downing cans of beer could actually help someone? The Darwin Lions Beer Can Regatta attests that a bunch of empties means a lot more than a hangover. In this case, the beer cans are built into boats and used to raise money for charity (spectators must make a donation). The captains of these beer-can boats race them in Australia's Darwin Harbour. Well, _race_ is probably the wrong verb. Many of the homemade vessels just bobble about before slowly sinking, which explains why all shipmates are required to wear life vests. Hey, it's all for a good cause, right? This festival has been going on since 1974, and the competitions have now multiplied - there is tug-of-war, thong-throwing contests (the shoes, not the unmentionables), sand castle competitions and more. All in all, the mid-July regatta offers fun for the whole family (even the ones younger than the national drinking age of 18).

Baby-Jumping Festival Castrillo de Murcia, Spain

This is one of the world's most disturbing festivals: Baby jumping? What genius thought that would be a good idea? One misstep, and ughh, we shudder to picture the aftermath. But _El Salto del Colacho_ or "the Devil's Jump" does, in fact, occur in the northern Spanish village of Castrillo de Murcia. The tradition dates back to the Middle Ages and is said to wash the participating babies from original sin. This is how it works: Five or six babies younger than the age of one are placed on padded beds, after which costumed men leap over them, almost as if they were hurdles. The festival takes place every year on the Roman Catholic holiday of Corpus Christi. Protective maternal types - this isn't the festival for you.

Up Helly Aa Viking Fire Festival Lerwick, Shetland, Scotland

What do you get when you mix vicious Vikings and blazing fires together? The Up Helly Aa Viking Fire Festival, of course. Every year on the last Tuesday in January, it's as if Lerwick, Shetland - located on an island just off the coast of Scotland - conjures its ancestors up from the grave. But the celebration actually has a much more modern origin, at least according to the United Kingdom's standards. In the 1880s, the official theme (Vikings and fire) was established. And the popular festival has run annually except in years where history dictated the cancellations, such as in 1901 at the death of Queen Victoria and during both World Wars I and II. Today, the daylong event involves a parade of Viking costume-clad men, a galley ship that floats on the Lerwick Harbour (and will eventually burn), blazing torches, numerous theatrical performances and more. Keep in mind that the following Wednesday is declared a public holiday, so that participants and onlookers can "recover" - most likely from the heavy boozing that also happens at Up Helly Aa Viking Fire Festival. That should give you an idea of how much fun this fest is.

Olney Pancake Race on International Pancake Day Olney, England

This takes the cake, or rather the _pan_cake, for quirkiest festival. The small town of Olney, just about 60 miles north of London, hosts a short running race every year on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday. Why, you ask, would you run on Fat Tuesday, when surely eating should be the main event? Well, here's why: According to lore, centuries ago in 1445, a local housewife was so focused on mixing batter and flipping pancakes that she lost track of time. When she realized it was time for the morning service, she raced off to church still wearing her apron and brandishing her frying pan. The town's current residents like to recreate this spectacle by wearing similar attire while they run from the marketplace to the Church of St. Peter and St. Paul. But unlike other races, these runners have to keep their skillet-carrying arm down. Otherwise, someone is liable to get knocked out. And who said running wasn't a contact sport?

La Tomatina Buñol, Spain

Think of that epic food fight in the cafeteria of your elementary school. If you weren't gifted with such a lunchtime brawl, then perhaps you recall the great scenes! from the '90s Peter Pan film, "Hook"? Multiply that by about a trillion, and you'll have La Tomatina. This tomato-throwing festival takes place in Buñol, Spain, near the popular city of Valencia, on the last Wednesday of August. And it's epic. It came about in 1945, when a group of rowdy young men staged a fight in Buñol's main square during a parade. A vegetable stand was in reach, so they started grabbing for produce and hurling it at one another. The police broke up the first fight, as well as four similar fights in subsequent years. But in 1950, Buñol relented and allowed its citizens to behave like schoolchildren and paint the town red with tomato splatter. Today, an estimated 90,000 pounds of tomatoes are dumped in the town's Plaza del Pueblo for use in the one-hour free-for-all. Let the tomato tossing begin!

Waikiki SPAM Jam Honolulu, Oahu, USA

How does Hawaii and processed meat sound? Delish? If this is your kind of duo, the Waikiki SPAM Jam in late April is the festival for you. You might ask: Why? Why would Hawaii host an event dedicated to the so-called mystery meat? And the simple answer is because Hawaiians love it. According to event officials, the Hawaiian population consumes nearly seven million cans of SPAM a year, which means they eat more SPAM than the residents of any other state in the United States. During the six-hour event, a handful of noted Honolulu chefs dish out the meaty product in all sorts of interesting ways. There are also tents selling SPAM merchandise (t-shirts, slippers and more), and there are even a couple of stages facilitating musical entertainment for the day (hence the "jam" part of the event name). Although SPAM tends to get a bad rep - some have nicknamed it "Something Posing As Meat" - if the Hawaiians do it, how bad can it be?

Holi Festival Many cities in India

India's Holi Festival has got to be one of the world's most colorful. Held in either late February or early March, this Hindu fete takes place in Indian cities like Bangalore, Delhi and Jaipur. The festival's main event is the opportunity to get splotched with bright "colors" (or powders) in shades of saffron, blue, magenta and more. To the unfamiliar observer it might just look like a powder-throwing holiday, but as reports, it's also "a holiday when enemies set aside differences, when members of different castes interact, when men and women, so often separated in this conservative society, mingle." Different cities add different events, such as dance performances and street food festivals, to Holi. But the best thing is that the whole community comes out to join in the convivial celebration, and they'll earn an Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for doing so. Happy Holi!

"Well, now aren't those some weird festivals!" Alfred joked, smiling from ear to ear."Well, that's all for now. See you later!"

The camera was shut off by none other than Ludwig, his reason for not appearing was because Arthur got in a fight with, you guessed it, Francis and was having his tended to because they fell on the green screen(and Feli) and everything fell on top of them. Alfred sighed.

"Ludwig, remind me _why_ we hired Francis?" He looked at the male pleadingly. "I have no idea..." The blonde replied.

**XOXOXOXO~Line Break~XOXOXOXO**

**AN: Well, that was long and painful for me to write... NOT! I mostly just copy and paste~ :P **

**England: Lazy authoress...**

**Reviews are like toppings on pizza, everybody loves them! So please send them in~ **


	4. Pets make Great Heroes!

**Hetalia Newscast!**

**AN: OMSHIZ! Twice in two days! That's a new record for this story! Now this one will make you say 'Awwwwww~' You know why? 'CAUSE PETS ARE SAVIN' THEIR OWNERS!**

**America: F- Yeah!**

**Well, enjoy, and remember. I DON'T OWN!**

**XOXOXOXO~Line Break~XOXOXOXO**

Arthur huffed. His black eye had swollen shut and he broke his arm when the equipment fell on them. But he was happy. The frog had a black eye, two teeth were missing, his leg was fractured, and he got a knee to the crotch. But, poor Feli got crushed under all of them and then the equipment fell on the trio. Yet he still managed to get away without a scrape! He sipped his tea and continued to walk towards the main room, where Yao set out breakfast for everyone. Kiku was rushing about, holding everybody's clothes for today's report. Ivan was handing Ludwig his script, smiling in his own creepy Russian way. Roderich and Eduard were silently chatting, talking about science and such. Elizaveta was smacking Francis upside the head with her frying pan, the female reporter was probably being molested by the frenchman.

"Arthur, aru! Come get your breakfast!" Yao shouted, his voice unnaturally loud in the unnaturally quiet room. I walked over and grabbed the plate he offered, thanking him in a polite tone before sitting and starting to eat. Alfred stood in the middle of the room, looking proud and tall. "All right! We have a good report that was (for once) not totally messed up by Ivan's sick and twisted mind! Let's eat quick and get moving!"

**XOXOXOXO~Time Lapse= 5 min.~XOXOXOXO**

Everybody was in position, Alfred wearing the mew suit Kiku had tailored for him. It was a dark shade of blue and the white shirt underneath looked crisp and new. His red tie clearly showing his American pride. He shuffled his papers before giving Arthur the O.K signal.

"Okay! Good Morning, people of the world! This Alfred speaking, with my faithful co-host Ludwig! We bring you a happy news report about animals saving their owners. Please enjoy!" Ludwig picked up his papers and scanned over the contents.

7 Pet Heroes to the Rescue How a group of horses, several dogs, one cat, and a parrot saved their favorite humans

By Elizaveta Hedervary, Lili Zwingli, and Katyusha Braginski

"Everybody loves a good-news story of friend helping friend, neighbor assisting neighbor, stranger saving stranger—of people who step forward in a moment of crisis to offer a selfless hand. Sometimes, that hand is a paw or a hoof. Here are the stories of 10 heroic animals that stepped up to protect their favorite humans, often at risk to themselves:"

**Freckles, smoke detector**

"Velma Leger remembers clearly the morning in October 1987 when she discovered her youngest child could barely see. When Leger held up a rattle for Sarah, then 6 months old, the baby reached for it and missed. Many doctors and tests later, it was confirmed that Sarah had bilateral retinoblastoma, a hereditary form of cancer that had caused tumors in both eyes. She received radiation treatment and was cured of the cancer, but developed into a shy young girl and teenager, utterly dependent on her mother and sister. "I used my cane," she says, "but I was always running into things, and I couldn't get where I needed to go without help." (Wearing corrective lenses, she can make out shapes and very large print, but she is legally blind.)"

"Sarah's world began to open up dramatically last year when she was partnered with Freckles, a small goldador guide dog—a cross between a golden retriever and a Labrador. "I could do so much more because of Freckles," says Sarah, now a sophomore at Louisiana State University–Eunice. "It was easier to make friends, because I could get around by myself, and I wasn't afraid.""

"In January, while she was home in Leonville, La., on winter break, Sarah found out that Freckles is a lifesaver in other ways, too. One night, after Sarah had said goodnight to her family and headed to bed, Freckles stopped abruptly at the threshold to the computer room connected to her bedroom, blocked her entry, and wouldn't budge. Sarah was forced to call out for help. The mystery was solved when an odd smell alerted her dad, a firefighter, that the computer monitor was smoldering. Though he grabbed it and took it outside, Freckles refused to settle down until she couldn't pick up even a whiff, which meant the family was up until 3 a.m. airing out the house."

""She definitely was not trained to do what she did," says Jennifer Gerrity, who worked with Freckles at Southeastern Guide Dogs in Palmetto, Fla. "Guide dogs are trained to navigate obstacles, not fires. And they do not perform body blocks.""

**Falstaff, the next best thing to 911**

"Richard Schulenberg, 70, was gardening one beautiful Saturday morning last October when he began to sweat profusely, his arms went numb, and he felt like he had a constrictive band across his chest. Fearing a heart attack, the entertainment lawyer and producer started down a hillside toward his Beverly Hills home, stopping to rest every few feet. Certain that his partner, Arlene Winnick, had left the house to run errands, he knew he'd have to figure out another way to get help. While he assessed his options, one of his English setters, the elegant Lady Rosalind, wandered by, licked his hand, and continued her stroll through the grounds."

"It wasn't long, though, before rescue came. Falstaff, also an English setter, seemed to have sensed that something wasn't quite right. When he found Schulenberg sitting on the hillside, the usually mellow dog began to bark fiercely and wouldn't calm down. Nor would he leave Schulenberg's side."

"As luck would have it, Winnick was climbing into her car and heard the commotion. Why hasn't Richard stopped the dog from barking? she wondered, going to investigate. She helped Schulenberg down to the house, where, in denial, he decided he wanted a shower. Once Winnick heard about the symptoms and realized he hadn't simply fallen down, however, they went to the ER pronto. Within 90 minutes of discovering that Schulenberg's left artery was 100 percent blocked, he had a stent snaked through his wrist and up his arm. "My doctor told me I was very lucky," says Schulenberg. "Another 30 minutes, he said, and I would have died." Since October, Schulenberg has dropped 35 pounds, and Falstaff now carefully patrols the yard."

**Tiger, a quick and fearless decoy**

"When Sophie Thomas's son gave her a kitten for company several years ago, the independent 97-year-old resident of Harrison, Mich., became very protective of her. Little did she know that one day their roles would be reversed."

"Thomas was pulling dandelions in her garden one sunny afternoon last summer when she was suddenly surrounded by four growling pit bulls. Clutching her spade, Thomas tried talking to them and shooing them away as they circled her, to no avail. One of the dogs lunged, biting her on the arm. She hit him on the head with her spade, and he backed off, but a second dog advanced. "I've never been so scared," Thomas says. "I was shaking!""

"Suddenly, little Tiger came out of nowhere. "She flew through the air and shot past me like a bolt of lightning," Thomas recalls. "She just jumped right into the middle of them, then ran for the garage." The dogs took off after Tiger, giving Thomas a window of opportunity to run to safety inside her house. Eventually the dogs left her yard, and Tiger came out of hiding."

"The bite required a tetanus shot, and Tiger, who took a swipe to the nose, needed a little patching up. The dogs were quarantined. Thomas credits Tiger with saving her life. "She's such a scaredy-cat usually," she says. "I don't know what came over my angel that day. She got a lot of love that night!""

**Scottee, the coyote-battling horse**

"Every morning about 8:30 or so, Robert "Bob" Bennington Jr. heads over to his brother's Old Moon Farm, just down the road from his home in Streator, Ill., to feed the family horses. Wednesday, Feb. 24, 2010, was no different. When he saw Scottee, his wife Eleanore's horse, Bennington called out to the 14-year-old brown bay to come get fed."

""That's when Blue, a 28-year-old horse, ran in front of me like a bat out of hell," recalls Bennington, 68, a retired employee of a nearby glass factory. "I said: 'What the hell is the matter with you, Blue? Where's the fire?' " Just then he spotted five coyotes rounding the old outhouse and heading up the hill toward him. "I called to Scottee, who was eating grass by the creek, to come quick.""

"The horse, so easygoing and gentle that he once spent his summers working at a kids' camp, took off at full gallop toward Bennington, who'd been surrounded by the coyotes and was terrified. Scottee planted himself in front of Bennington and started whinnying, rearing up, and stomping the ground. Soon three other horses—Danny Boy, Codee, and Levi—were helping Scottee form a tight circle around Bennington. Blue ran down to the east side of the barn and joined the other horses in a line, watching and ready to fight if needed. "I had seen cows do this to protect their babies," Bennington says. "But never horses.""

"The largest of the coyotes lunged toward Bennington, and Danny Boy kicked at it. The mangy black animal came back at him, snarling. Then a shaggy gray coyote moved in. "Scottee wheeled around and kicked him dead center, and sent him for a loop," says Bennington. "The big black one went wide, and Levi caught him in mid-leap and kicked him in the head." The coyotes, which Bennington later heard had attacked a child and killed a Shetland pony, let out a few yips and retreated to an empty cornfield. "I thought my number was up," he says. "All I had for protection was my cane.""

"These days, Bennington often can't help but cry when he tells the story, since Scottee died unexpectedly last November, probably after grazing on a poisonous plant."

**Calamity Jane, armed-robber alarm**

"At about 11:15 on the night of Jan. 23, 2009, Shar Pauley went outside with her three rescued golden retrievers. Calamity Jane, who had joined the family just weeks earlier after being abandoned with a gunshot wound and having a leg amputated, trotted along happily on three limbs. Just days earlier, she'd given birth to a litter of puppies."

"The residential street in Aledo, Texas, was quiet. But suddenly Calamity Jane stiffened and bolted toward a neighbor's home, growling and barking furiously. The other dogs, alarmed, began barking too, though they stayed in their yard as they'd been trained to do. Pauley was taken aback; the dog was usually so docile that she hadn't even bothered to put her on a leash. "Calamity Jane just picked up on something, and charged over there," Pauley says. Noticing that her neighbors had company—there were cars parked outside—Pauley worried about disturbing them. She grabbed the dog's collar and pulled her into the yard next to the driveway. As she did, she heard car doors slam and saw a car speed away. What Pauley didn't know was that inside the house, Judy Kolman, 59, and her husband Steve had been preparing to bid goodnight to seven guests, including two children, when a gun-wielding man in a ski mask burst in. Herding them into the living room, the gunman shouted at them and beat Steve, while two accomplices ransacked the home, taking jewelry, electronics, and a coin collection."

"Suddenly aware of the racket outside, the gunman contacted his getaway car using his cellphone set on speaker. "There's people outside," Kolman heard the lookout say. The men fled, leaving the family and their guests shaken. (The men were later apprehended and are now serving jail time.) "Who knows what might have happened," Kolman says, if Calamity Jane hadn't raised the alarm. Only after Kolman ran next door to ask Pauley's help in calling police did Pauley learn what had happened."

"Pauley speculates that her dog, a victim of violence herself, might be more sensitive to disturbing sounds or movements than her other dogs. Since foiling the home invasion, Calamity Jane has returned to her mild-mannered ways and now volunteers as a therapy dog, visiting patients at local hospitals."

**Charley, neighborhood watch dog**

"Frances Gippert, a travel manager who works from home in Loganville, Ga., became annoyed at her dog Charley one afternoon in August 2008. Well before he normally would need to go outside, "he kept coming up to me, tapping my arm, barking like crazy," says Gippert, 48. "I need it quiet, because I'm constantly on the phone.""

"Finally, she relented and snapped on Charley's leash. Though the West Highland terrier's habit was to visit a spot across the street, this time he pulled Gippert in the opposite direction, to a spot three houses away, and began barking furiously. "I knew something was wrong," Gippert says."

"Sure enough, when she looked closely into the yard, she spotted a man lying in some bushes. Gippert grabbed Charley and ran home to call 911, then returned to stay with the man while awaiting the ambulance. "He was semiconscious," she says."

"The man was Roy Monie, who owns and rents out the house and had stopped by to do some maintenance on the roof. "I know I shouldn't have been doing it alone," he says. While climbing from a lower roof to an upper roof, he lost his balance and fell, hitting his head before landing in the shrubbery below. He lay there for more than two hours, drifting in and out of consciousness. "Charley raised a ruckus," he says. "He really was a lifesaver.""

"Monie suffered serious injuries in the fall, including a collapsed lung and a cracked rib, and spent a week in the hospital. "It's amazing," says Monie, 64, "that a dog could have heard something from at least 200 feet away and interpreted it as danger." Monie now counts Charley as a fast friend."

**Jake, rescue swimmer**

"It was a warm day in June 2008, and Diane Bailey and her family were spending it at their cabin on the Platte River near Omaha, Neb. While she was absorbed in preparing a picnic, Bailey's then 12-year-old son, Tony, headed to the river to wade. The water looked waist-high at most."

"But it quickly became apparent that the water was deeper than he'd thought, and the current was strong and swift. Although not far from shore, Tony became caught in the current and felt himself being pulled under, and because the wind had shifted, his calls for help went unheard—at least by the humans."

"Jake, the family's 3-year-old black Labrador retriever, charged into action. "All of a sudden, we saw Jake barrel over to the river," Bailey recalls. She and other family members ran to the riverbank and watched the Lab paddle out to Tony, who put his arms around the dog. Together, they were able to swim their way to calmer water, where family members could reach them."

"Jake's burst of heroism was somewhat surprising, Bailey says wryly, because the dog, now 6, doesn't often listen to or obey his owners. Luckily, she says, the family had picked him as a puppy from a kennel that breeds black Labs because they like to swim." Ludwig finished with a quiet sigh of relief, glad he hadn't messed up.

"Wow, who would've thought that animals could be such good heroes! Well that's all for this sweet report. See you tomorrow and have a happy New Year!" Alfred had to yell, didn't he? With that Arthur shut off the camera, and quit recording them. "That was so sweet!" Feli was crying and had his white handkerchief. "I know, right!" Alfred was right next to him, sobbing loudly at the adorable story.

"Well, come on. I'm hungry and Yao said lunch was ready." Alfred sobered up pretty quickly at the mention of food, and ran off with Feli.

**XOXOXOXO~Line Break~XOXOXOXO**

**AN: How was that completely sappy story? I wanted to cry when I read it over, it was soooo sweet! 3 Which animal did you like out of these, Artie?**

**England: I guess I liked the one about Falstaff.**

**Why, because it was an English Setter?**

**England:*blush* NO!**

**Reviews are like pizza toppings, everybody likes them! So please leave a review~**


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